Mr. & Mrs. JUDGE!!!

What’s with men and their sense of judgment? i’m not sure if my observation of  a man’s sense of judgment is more under scrutiny because i’m a woman, nevertheless, at the moment their sense of judgment affects me more than that of women. or should i say i’m more amused by it, perhaps because i do not understand their psychological process involved in judging nor am i able to rationalise their reaction to it.    There are off course socio-cultural-economic factors that influence the degree and nature of judgment in men. By large i’m not referring to judgment in a, “knowing the directions” perspective. I’m concerned more with how they draw distinction between what is right and what is wrong and what influences these judgments.

Of what i have noticed, men seem to have a certain selectivity in their perception of what is right and wrong. This is not to say that women do not have this, just the degree to which men seem to have it in is a cause of amusement. let us take for granted that we all make our judgments based on 2 important factors:

experience

morals/ ethics and everything that fits into the societal blanket

but somehow in men i feel the presence of this third mysterious element, after a long period of trying to figure out what this element is, the one thing i’ve concluded upon is the implication of this mysterious third element, which off course i’m yet to define. the implication of this comes in the form of men being a lot less flexible than women about issues or acts that require to be judged and placed into a category of right and wrong.

Are women more open minded about changing their opinions with time and growing awareness? or are they simply more easily influenced by views of others? why is it harder to get a man to change his judgment of something once it has been made? does this imply that men put in more thought in judging things and therefore their opinions are stronger and un changeable? or is it their inability to accept  change?

lets take a situation, say a woman does not smoke, she thinks its wrong. then she starts smoking, she alters her judgment to believe its not so wrong after all. a man does not smoke, he thinks its wrong, he starts smoking, he alters his judgment to believe its not so wrong after all. so far they are on an equal plane.

the amusing is part is not the judgment of their own acts. it is their judgment of each other.

woman doesn’t smoke, she thinks its wrong. man doesn’t smoke, he thinks its wrong, man starts smoking, alters his perception. what happens to the woman’s judgment of the man? well, as far as my observation goes, the woman would still judge the act as “wrong” but in most cases she does not extend her judgment of his act to the person having committed the act. To her, his act of smoking is wrong, but as a person himself, she does not label him as “wrong”.

This is where men differ. if the same situation is observed swapping the man and the woman, the man’s judgment of the woman on the whole changes. Men do not see the act as being any different from the person. men believe that sins are committed by sinners. where as women believe that sinners commit sins. there is a thin line of difference. everyman who is a sinner is so because he has committed a sin but everyone that commits a sin is not a sinner. this is the biggest difference in the way men and women judge.

This brings to me the aspect of tolerance. are women more tolerant towards men? would they act the same way if it were another woman in the place of a man? probably not. but in the same situation, a man is more likely to be tolerant to a another man. Men are way way more lenient when it comes to judging men. This strongly reflects the power positions men and women have when it comes to relationships.

This is why probably many woman say that they are far more comfortable having a male best friend, but men still continue to hold on to their good old beer buddy.

Women subconsciously still believe that a man’s threshold of wrong doing is much higher than her own. but with changing times and with the emergence of the so called “liberated” breed of women, the imbalance has been further disrupted by making her judgment of other women harsher to counter her lenient judgment of herself.

At the end of this, its hard to really pinpoint any particular reason why men and women behave this way, but the effect of this has definitely got something to do with the unhealthy sex ratio in many countries, especially because my attention has been solely paid towards men of the Indian subcontinent.

I might sound like a frustrated feminist of a the developing world, but I’m far from that.  if you think otherwise, you’re probably a man. I’m sure that explains why!!! ;)

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4 Comments

  1. You say Men are way way more lenient to other men? Bull shit!
    Men are more lenient to women.
    Look at the courts, Women get away with crime with lesser punishment then men. FACT!

    A man would not think twice to hit another man if he insulted him, but he lets women off most of the time.

    In the USA, 95% of women on death row, are never killed, But lot of men on death row are killed. Women get away with murder.

    I can go on….about how men let women off easily.

    On the point of sense of Judgment…..
    Men DEFINED morals.

    women might appear to have higher morals but said morals are usually affected by emotion, so in effect they are lower most of the time.

    Your not logical enough to have a debate with me, you seem like another ranting woman.

  2. if you read carefully, you’ll figure out that i’m not talking about “crime” haven’t mentioned it even once in the blog…. law is a different system all together…

    and when it comes to morals, i don’t remember having accused men of having low morals…. nor have i mentioned that women are more morally pure…

    you are quite limited in thinking thats having emotions and being influenced by them are the same as being emotional. women might be emotional but men are equally under the influence of emotions.

    and when it comes to my competence… with your comment you’ve just proved the contrary….

    thanks for visiting,
    i acknowledge our difference of opinion…

  3. I know that closet feminist part is a dig at me ,JERK!!!! :)

    But this is called ‘The Lucifer Effect’.
    Wikipedia says: Assigning actions to the nature of the person but ignoring the external influences

    It’s an old school way of thinking because we used to think that the person’s behavior was a product of their internal nature.

    A more modern view is that Behaviour is a function of the person AND their environment… [see Kurt Lewin, 1930s ish]

    That a more accepted mordern current view, looks you are running into groups of people that have opposing views, right along these lines

  4. that sounds interesting… i’ll look it up….

    and lol… yea… that was a dig at you… :P

    and yes…. i knew i’d get opposing views especially so coz i dunno any woman that reads my blog…


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